Fields of hope

standing still

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 16:33:27 GMT

*yawns* Haven't been having a good sleep lately... at least a satisfying 1 anyway. My left ear ache is affecting my whole head and I could hardly sleep. =.=

Went 2 the doctors 2day n found out that I'm suffering from an ear infection. The doctor even stated that it can affect the throat. Prob is why is my head affected and not my throat??? sheesh. I feel very abnormal. N 4 the first time in my life I am needed 2 take up 2 antibiotics all the way.

Have 2 wake up really early 2morrow 2 pick up a letter. I doubt I'll get a good 1 till the pain's gone.

And I worry bout my piano which is yet 2 be totally fixed n I have an exam on the 23rd. 2 add on 2 my worries I'm the 1st one 2 do the test. aiyak. T____________T.

pls do pray 4 the best 4 me. =.=

snooze out.

starting now.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 10:32:25 GMT

well I'm off 2 IDP 2morrow. Hopefully application goes well and all. N acceptance letter. hurm = /

I really want this to happen cuz I want to mature from my close minded self n hopefully from all the childish thoughts I'm going through.

I can't drive nor even get a life. I realize no matter what I do I won't embrace the wonderful moment ever again. I committed suicide by looking @ those pictures plus blogs and somehow somewhere I felt that something was missing from that. Question is whether or not the person realized. I know I'm basically gone from all that now and I don't expect that it's for myself 2 come back in2 that picture again. I want to but I know I can't. It'll just be troublesome for the person because i am a girl n I can do anything based on my emotions. I dun want 2 take the risk and I really hope that everything will go well from now on. It is better for the person not to know that I'm going "there" anyway.

Watched boy meets world season 3X21 and it made me realize how easy it is for a person just 2 show their feelings and embrace the wonderful moment again (even though he had to go through sharks and etc O_____O). Hilarious but I dunno whether that situation is even near possible. Ah stories like those will always have a happy ending. Cis cis, I envy them.

1 quote from it made me feel @ ease though

" At least i tried "

No matter how many times I've been receiving negative answers I felt that I have done my part and in the best way that I could. That was like what 2-3 years ago. It may be way long back but there are some things that has never changed. I don't think anyone will be able 2 ignite that wonderful moment for me again. Well, it's not so bad walking off in the future alone anyway. Nothing is ever easy in this world :P

I think I can bear it wif how many "get a life" from other people. Damn annoying but, I have 2 live wif it anyway. N if everything goes well I dun have 2 hear that ever again from a family member. stress jer.

Now I wish I could communicate wif dolphins. :)

hmm

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:31:03 GMT

4 some reason.

I'm inspired 2 write a story

LOL! Just felt like letting it out! :)

back then.

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 04:09:34 GMT

Nom. I kinda had a blog stalk on my frenz n I realize the similarities of some of their posts they posted on their blog.

" dreams may not come true because ur dream changes as we grow older."

I really agree on that.

Back then all I wanted was to study in UK. London 2 be more exact, but now since I'm older I realize things aren't always going well wif the current situation. So the furthest I'll go is Australia. I may consider working in the UK once I've settled and contempt wif my life 1st.

Main reason 2 why I changed my mind in going 2 the UK is of financial probs. with the big gap between malaysian money and in London, I could cry losing the amount of money which is bout 5 times or 6 worse than malaysian money now. Other than that, I didn't do a levels. nyoohoo. Or IB. LOL. PLus I dun think my body can take much of the temperature there @ the moment. I'm easily 2 fall sick nowadays. Imagine me in London getting a cold at least once a week. Oh horrible.

Oh well BB London

n Hello Australia.

I should consider doing my IELTS. real 1 mind you! T_____T

...

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 11:16:34 GMT

My parents gave the permission.

But I'm not going 2 get my hopes up.

If it actually happens.... then I need 2 buff up before july.

it's not the same 4 every1

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:38:27 GMT

" separation makes the heart grow fonder"

I just keep thinking of this sentence... it may be a quote that tends 2 happen 2 some1 but it's not that it will happen 2 every1.

Makes me wonder...

Does the writer realize that fact?

Anyway, I dream of something unexpected just recently

I met raine and I told her that I love her artworks.

an inspiring words of wisdom 4 writers.

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 04:11:52 GMT

" read constantly 2 develop good taste. Read the very best of whatever kimd of writing you're interested in. Then write"

"An aspiring writer is not some1 who dreams of writing a novel someday; an aspiring writer is some1 who sits down and actually does it, day after day, for sheer satisfaction of a single good sentence, for the pride that comes from one good paragraph at the end of the day."

"If you actually want glory and riches-- then you're probably better off doing something else."

By Preeta Samarasaran

love at 1st sight.

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 08:05:36 GMT

OMG cantIk kan?? LALALALALALALALALALA. xD

I know I'm not a fan of fairies much but this is just pretty!

I like the elvis ver. 2. :)

worst nigtmare.

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 05:15:12 GMT

Man, I really thought things would go through well. Besides,

positive thinking attracts positive situations 2 come to you.

I believe not. Well not this time.

Tried hard to go through the course I really want to enter. BUT, due to my mistakes in the past, there are high chances that I won't be able 2 go for it.

FIRST of all, SC Subang Jaya education consultant didn't contact my freaking email when I really need the information asap.

Then, I find out that the only way 2 get into a good graphic uni (there's 2 btw) is through a university that I never want to touch. AT ALL. But that's the only way to enter the 2 universities in Australia that is famous for the course of my interest. OWH come on! I don't wanna screw my subjects n simply play around with the edu ppl just so I could get a high mark. That's insane.

I just want a miracle to happen right now.

omg

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 14:32:53 GMT

Eh. Really yar.

I really need 2 buff up wif my drawings.

WTH had happen 2 that rajin of an artist side of me GONE 2?!

HECK LAR.