Fields of hope

Sep 4, 2009

did I mention that it has been a dozen years since my last post?

Well that's most probably due to the university load of work. Chilling yes, but there are still work 2 concentrate on and one has this tendency to do AWESOME (well hopefully) in the work in class.

No presentations so far, but my comm presenation is like due in 2 weeks. Oh brilliant.

N oh before I forget, happy fasting ppl. May we all work hard 2 do our best in controlling our patience though there are still demons around who can't. Let's take this chance and try not 2 end up like them.

Latest news in the papers kinda annoy me 4 some reason. If u guys ever have the chance to read, it's that recent protest in religious buildings recently. I can't talk bout it in detailed 4 now cuz I have no intention of remembering it @ all. It just annoys me. During fasting month some more.

well, how was uni? It's fun, though I really am still struggling in finding a good trasnfer or exchange prgram 4 my last year. very hard. Japan might be out of the list, so next might be the UK.

decisions decisions, I still have time 2 think but knowing me I won't remember it till the end of my 2nd year. Period.

it is really hard 2 get a comp in the uni's library. So dun expect me 2 blog much as my comp is also busted like heck. damn pissy bout that.

anyway, till next time.

Posted at 03:06 pm by selphia
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Jul 11, 2009

uni.

I entered the uni for some course advice session yesterday and it was tiring.

honestly the atmosphere was pretty much uncomfortable. I felt like I don't have much oxygen to breathe in and I was in desperation to leave... No one I could talk to nor was the teacher ever convincing on stating the course is wonderful.

Yeah you're only stuck with some1 who just speaks with no confidence in the front.

Most of them are taking up bachelor of arts. But I can tell you I won't be seeing more than half the class that attended the session. They either wanna major in psychology or international studies. I don't hear anyone near interested in writing. there might be a chance that i'm the only one taking writing as a major.

Good thing is that I can take up music and film studies in my 1st two semesters. I decided not 2 take up malaysian cinemas as a sub since I chose a more general 1 for the films and the tv. I look forward to music and culture of asia. xD

Though after I took in a little breather while getting out of the campus, walking towards the station to wait for a bus, I met someone interesting. She was one of the students that attended the session. We just said a hi and I do not know how, but we ended up talking bout bunch of things. It jumped to a hi to the bus to the driving license to the course to the session to the bus ride and we were particularly occupied with the amount of questions bombarded at each other. Plus, the most interesting cons we had was about the exchange program. We both took a bus together to pyramid and spent some time talking though it didn't last since I met up wif some ex students of taylors. I felt pretty bad for leaving her out since the 2nd time I came across an old classmate she decided to leave for another bus. =/ I sure hope things would be better the next week. Sorry Emily.

I sure hope to find more students next week though. I feel left out for being the only one taking up writing. And honestly, I don't see any muslim guys around in that session. Not that i mind not having any but it feels weird ya know. My ex college actually had at least bout 4 malay muslim guys. So the atmosphere was pretty much weird for me. Oh, well. Hope for the best for me. :)

toodles.

Posted at 11:45 am by selphia
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Jul 8, 2009

HOMG. HOMG.

I'm starting uni in a week... and yet I'm still afraid of my mistakes of choosing subjects... but honestly after I had that talk wif both of my sisters (winnie and kaksu) in TGIF like weeks ago I felt this sudden goal appearing deep inside me.

I've always loved stories. A very good plot indeed. Writing has been my thing ever since forever. I've always turned to writing whenever I needed to express my depression, anger or happiness using a diary for as long as I could remember. And I keep remembering those days when I could draw, that I was always writing out drafts on how I want my story to be. Drawings was second because it cannot be expressed well without a good plot. I've also been contacted by some old friends who reminded me how I was so into making a good story back in grade school. In fact, they actually remembered some plots I wrote that made me so happy remembering the good old days. Writing is my life and heck I'm even writing in a blog now.

Anyway, straight to the story with my sisters, they were talking bout random books they read made into a movie. Which also includes what sort of actors or actresses fit the characters in the story. Then it jumped to mangas. My favourite series Charming Junkie/Nosatsu Junkie. The first question my 2nd sister asked me was who would be a great actor/actress to fit the characters of my fav series... I thought bout it for awhile but I couldn't think of anyone... until yesterday, Winnie and I discussed bout the series made into a movie/live action series again. And she searched for some random japanese celebrity which was very difficult. But, we found a very suitable Umi. In fact his voice suits it as well.

When we think of Umi. He must look hot as a guy and cute as a girl.

Well here he is.

HOMG

hot boy version

The cute flowery girl smile.

Yup this actor/entertainer is one guy. And his name's Tegoshi Yuya from NEWS.

Honestly, I would love to work in the film industry with him as umi. My UMI! And of course if he's in it I have to work with the japanese 1 day.

HOMG..... I swear I could just faint right now looking @ his pictures.

It's really hard 2 find a naka though. :(

Time to work hard to get into the film industry! WHEE!

Posted at 11:09 pm by selphia
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Jul 4, 2009

word.

Guessy what? After all the hard time 2 actually enroll myself 2 a certain uni... I'm actually now an official student of it waiting 4 my counseling course session and my orientation.

N 2 those who don't really know the passing mark... apparently it's a 90%. Oh yeah I have a load of things 2 do then and one of them is to read and study everyday... with no fail! I'm not gonna waste 80 over thousand because of a freakin fail ok. I'd rather die studying than retaking n which means repaying 4 a certain subject. If I work fine, I'd fail as many times as I want but no Im not working n it's my dad's money. SO NO CHANCE OF FAILING N GETTING BELOW 90. EVER.

My list of things to do once I start.

- make notes of the subject taught everyday w/t fail
- get at least a 90% for each n every subject (it's not impossible if I put my mind into it)
- enter the anime/manga club (I dun care, I study but I need some sort of fun 2)
- try 2 at least enter a sports club...Badminton is a definite
- write an interesting story/ stories I've had an idea of but haven't written yet if I ever decided to enter writing course.
- talk alot. I dun care bout what crappy things I have to say...just talk.
- be open 2 different ideas/ thoughts
- get out of the house once in awhile.
- plan public transport to uni
- plan my driving practical classes (if possible during the holidays 4 the JPJ test)
- get a proper schedule book
- try to get a mx of sc n arts subjects.

Okay then. I'm out.

Posted at 08:39 pm by selphia
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Apr 30, 2009

wishes

She could color way better in photoshop

Meh.

Well, inking is one. I still haven't finished my lola n yet I am bound to start on a new piece. RAWR.

Well. I'm off 2 Dubai for some baby sitting holiday. N I'll see u guys after the 16th.

BB~

Note: I must practice on windows before changing 2 MAC. HOMG.

Posted at 05:33 pm by selphia
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Apr 21, 2009

reminiscing sunday

Woke up from dreaming and put on her shoes
Starting making her way past 2 in the morning
She hasn't been sober for days

Leaning out into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, she falls to her knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what she needs

Now this place is familiar to her
He pulls on her hand with a devilish grin
He led her upstairs, he led her upstairs
Left her dying to get in

Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this boy?
He's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask him to marry me

Even though he doesn't believe in love,
She's determined to call him bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling her gut

Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
She pleads though she tries
But she's only denied
Now she's dying to get inside

The neighbors said he moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever he may be

"I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt; now the rain is
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head"

I guess I'll go home now..

A song I'm currently addicted to...though I kinda change the POV gender. 4 example...the he was suppose 2 be a she and the she written was suppose 2 be a he LOL.

Reminds me of my Sunday exactly on the 16th April 2006... so that day can relate to this song.

By all time low - remembering Sunday.

Posted at 10:47 pm by selphia
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Apr 13, 2009

standing still

*yawns* Haven't been having a good sleep lately... at least a satisfying 1 anyway. My left ear ache is affecting my whole head and I could hardly sleep. =.=

Went 2 the doctors 2day n found out that I'm suffering from an ear infection. The doctor even stated that it can affect the throat. Prob is why is my head affected and not my throat??? sheesh. I feel very abnormal. N 4 the first time in my life I am needed 2 take up 2 antibiotics all the way.

Have 2 wake up really early 2morrow 2 pick up a letter. I doubt I'll get a good 1 till the pain's gone.

And I worry bout my piano which is yet 2 be totally fixed n I have an exam on the 23rd. 2 add on 2 my worries I'm the 1st one 2 do the test. aiyak. T____________T.

pls do pray 4 the best 4 me. =.=

snooze out.

Posted at 12:33 am by selphia
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Mar 29, 2009

starting now.

well I'm off 2 IDP 2morrow. Hopefully application goes well and all. N acceptance letter. hurm = /

I really want this to happen cuz I want to mature from my close minded self n hopefully from all the childish thoughts I'm going through.

I can't drive nor even get a life. I realize no matter what I do I won't embrace the wonderful moment ever again. I committed suicide by looking @ those pictures plus blogs and somehow somewhere I felt that something was missing from that. Question is whether or not the person realized. I know I'm basically gone from all that now and I don't expect that it's for myself 2 come back in2 that picture again. I want to but I know I can't. It'll just be troublesome for the person because i am a girl n I can do anything based on my emotions. I dun want 2 take the risk and I really hope that everything will go well from now on. It is better for the person not to know that I'm going "there" anyway.

Watched boy meets world season 3X21 and it made me realize how easy it is for a person just 2 show their feelings and embrace the wonderful moment again (even though he had to go through sharks and etc O_____O). Hilarious but I dunno whether that situation is even near possible. Ah stories like those will always have a happy ending. Cis cis, I envy them.

1 quote from it made me feel @ ease though

" At least i tried "

No matter how many times I've been receiving negative answers I felt that I have done my part and in the best way that I could. That was like what 2-3 years ago. It may be way long back but there are some things that has never changed. I don't think anyone will be able 2 ignite that wonderful moment for me again. Well, it's not so bad walking off in the future alone anyway. Nothing is ever easy in this world :P

I think I can bear it wif how many "get a life" from other people. Damn annoying but, I have 2 live wif it anyway. N if everything goes well I dun have 2 hear that ever again from a family member. stress jer.

Now I wish I could communicate wif dolphins. :)

Posted at 06:32 pm by selphia
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Mar 26, 2009

hmm

4 some reason.

I'm inspired 2 write a story

LOL! Just felt like letting it out! :)

Posted at 12:31 am by selphia
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Mar 17, 2009

back then.

Nom. I kinda had a blog stalk on my frenz n I realize the similarities of some of their posts they posted on their blog.

" dreams may not come true because ur dream changes as we grow older."

I really agree on that.

Back then all I wanted was to study in UK. London 2 be more exact, but now since I'm older I realize things aren't always going well wif the current situation. So the furthest I'll go is Australia. I may consider working in the UK once I've settled and contempt wif my life 1st.

Main reason 2 why I changed my mind in going 2 the UK is of financial probs. with the big gap between malaysian money and in London, I could cry losing the amount of money which is bout 5 times or 6 worse than malaysian money now. Other than that, I didn't do a levels. nyoohoo. Or IB. LOL. PLus I dun think my body can take much of the temperature there @ the moment. I'm easily 2 fall sick nowadays. Imagine me in London getting a cold at least once a week. Oh horrible.

Oh well BB London

n Hello Australia.

I should consider doing my IELTS. real 1 mind you! T_____T

Posted at 12:09 pm by selphia
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