starting now. « Fields of hope

Mar 29, 2009

starting now.

well I'm off 2 IDP 2morrow. Hopefully application goes well and all. N acceptance letter. hurm = /

I really want this to happen cuz I want to mature from my close minded self n hopefully from all the childish thoughts I'm going through.

I can't drive nor even get a life. I realize no matter what I do I won't embrace the wonderful moment ever again. I committed suicide by looking @ those pictures plus blogs and somehow somewhere I felt that something was missing from that. Question is whether or not the person realized. I know I'm basically gone from all that now and I don't expect that it's for myself 2 come back in2 that picture again. I want to but I know I can't. It'll just be troublesome for the person because i am a girl n I can do anything based on my emotions. I dun want 2 take the risk and I really hope that everything will go well from now on. It is better for the person not to know that I'm going "there" anyway.

Watched boy meets world season 3X21 and it made me realize how easy it is for a person just 2 show their feelings and embrace the wonderful moment again (even though he had to go through sharks and etc O_____O). Hilarious but I dunno whether that situation is even near possible. Ah stories like those will always have a happy ending. Cis cis, I envy them.

1 quote from it made me feel @ ease though

" At least i tried "

No matter how many times I've been receiving negative answers I felt that I have done my part and in the best way that I could. That was like what 2-3 years ago. It may be way long back but there are some things that has never changed. I don't think anyone will be able 2 ignite that wonderful moment for me again. Well, it's not so bad walking off in the future alone anyway. Nothing is ever easy in this world :P

I think I can bear it wif how many "get a life" from other people. Damn annoying but, I have 2 live wif it anyway. N if everything goes well I dun have 2 hear that ever again from a family member. stress jer.

Now I wish I could communicate wif dolphins. :)

Posted at 06:32 pm by selphia

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