Fields of hope

Dec 25, 2009

I heard a middle aged man told me

That I should study in Bedfordshire University....

studying....

jewelry design.

in my dreams.

WTH?! THIS BUGS ME LIKE HECK!!!

n oh. before I forget (before i lose control)

merry christmas!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Posted at 11:07 pm by selphia
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do i really have 2?

Right. Unbelievable. but I am currently addicted in watching this korean drama ver. of boys-over-flowers. The girl's facial expression is just bizarre! :3. Yup once I wake up 2morrow morning I am off watching it with my niece. GAHAHAHA!

As 4 manga, I am in2 pandora hearts. Yet another interesting character name oz. Annoys me at times.... though I don't really know the reason 2 why I feel that way. RAWR. Sahara annoys me 2. GRR. Who knows what is it bout them that annoys me so much. Give it a try. Reminds me of Gray man but something bout it attracts my attention n I have yet to find out what is it.

Lastly driving.

I failed.....

3 point turn.

Yeah I know.

It's stupid, Geez. Leave me alone.

Posted at 01:09 am by selphia
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Nov 30, 2009

ruined man.

i'm sorry. i can't help but just feel emo right now. GAH. I'll try to make the emo part as short as possible. =/

I really hate not being able 2 do freakin well in uni. I am uber frus about my guts in in my subjects lately. Cause no matter what i do my lecturers will give these hints that i'm not goo enough. ARGH- just what I need really. Though i have these 4 months holz, I can't help but worry about my overall results. And one of the horrible fact is that one of the bad subjects is a subject needed 2 enter a major I want 2 get in2. =.=

Question is, if I seriously can't do this, where will I go? What will I do next? Not to mention the high rate of education system and the expensive fees.

These are one of those times when u feel like cursing those people having such clear goals in life they want to achieve.

*pulls hair*

Ok done with the emo. I went to kino recently (whee!) and I managed to purchase mixed vegetables number 6. Such an awesome volume since some unexpected events took place. As usual, we kinda expect Aoi to have a thing for ichii. I want hybrid berry next. :3

when's NJ updating? I'M CURIOUS 2 KNOW what's going to happen next.

Ok, so far my manga wishlist:-

a) NJ 7 and above (if the company ever plans to publish it/ Singapore publishers starts selling it)
b) Mixed vegetables 7 and above
c) hybrid berry 1 and above
d) recipe for gertrude 1-5.

I like faster than a kiss too. :P

And for games update, I've finally gotten the original HM animal parade for wii. Such a good game. So many things to do and quests are pure hard. My current favorite harvest moon game so far. :3

Went to mega mall 2day, and I came across the original ver of another wonderful life game for just 80 bucks.Still wondering whether or not i should buy it. The bachelors of the story are just pure fuggly man.

CF plan update. I am still sewing the keychains, and working on KHR- fong and mammon. still frus about the fact I drew lil miss boo-ger. =3=

Anyway, I'll stop here for now.

till next time!

Posted at 01:10 am by selphia
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Nov 10, 2009

beautiful disaster.

going back 4 driving classes 2morrow....

I can't help but have these particular words on my mind bout it...

"OH no. SOME1 HELP ME PLEASE! T^T"

Posted at 02:11 am by selphia
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Nov 8, 2009

inspiration's kicking in.

Yeah man. I read through the many random mangas and went through the bookstore ( u don't know the very annoying part where no one helped me reaching out 4 a book in a high shelf) and after a few times reading through some random book summaries, I managed 2 think of yet again another story I am consider writing out or maybe draw out.

Many thanks to recipe 4 Gertrude though. Such a normal flow way of conveying the story yet a good plot. Must collect the series. I love mariotte and puppen. =X

main guy: Gertude

Mariotte and Puppen

The girl is pretty unbelievable. she doesn't show much emotions but I think I should just carry on with the story to see how this character develops.

Main girl: sahara

surprise me please.

I love the side story that kicked some inspiration into me.

but first I have 2 work on my 1st one. I look forward in creating the both stories for the future. =D

Jasmine! Look forward 2 it!

Posted at 01:47 am by selphia
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Nov 7, 2009

you will always be my shining star. =)

Again. It's been a while I know. I just have been busy emo-ing bout life and stressed with uni at the moment. Gah. Though I now have a very much of a long holiday so I feel very much at ease. 4 now that is.

To carry on with my ranting, i started coming across different sorts of "I'm already gone" sort of relationships. Mainly because I hear views of people on their love life and how they are affected by it. Though on FB, I read this article by a new found friend as of this year. As worse as his life can be, he could still lift up his chin, smile, be as cheerful as possible, hiding the fact that he is so much depressed and lost inside. Somehow that feeling interest me since I have basically went through the same thing. A love that is very much gone from my life and the fact I can't change a thing about it.

He lost his love with a sickness I'm guessing. She went home with the lord as of end of August of this year. Who could actually thought one can go through with this with such a calm pace?

It kinda made me want to cry as I come across that article but as cold as I am with these things I think I am use to holding it in due to the pain I basically went through these past 3 years.

I'm sure he misses her the most. The were still an item until the very end.

Though our situation is not totally the same, I still somewhat understood how he feels. The feeling of not being able 2 do anything for his loved one just to save her.

I learn something from him though by reading his notes.

"Love is magnificent. When you do something without expect anything else in return at all. That is all that matters. Allah loves this."

Made me smile and I know that is all true.

I am scared as heck to try again. Though if my fate is to love you all my life till I die then so be it. I won't expect anything else. Whatever I did, I hope you understand that I did so cause I think it is for the best for the both of us.

You will always be my shining star dear. Always know that. And all the best in everything!

2/03/04- 16/4/06

Posted at 06:45 pm by selphia
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Sep 4, 2009

did I mention that it has been a dozen years since my last post?

Well that's most probably due to the university load of work. Chilling yes, but there are still work 2 concentrate on and one has this tendency to do AWESOME (well hopefully) in the work in class.

No presentations so far, but my comm presenation is like due in 2 weeks. Oh brilliant.

N oh before I forget, happy fasting ppl. May we all work hard 2 do our best in controlling our patience though there are still demons around who can't. Let's take this chance and try not 2 end up like them.

Latest news in the papers kinda annoy me 4 some reason. If u guys ever have the chance to read, it's that recent protest in religious buildings recently. I can't talk bout it in detailed 4 now cuz I have no intention of remembering it @ all. It just annoys me. During fasting month some more.

well, how was uni? It's fun, though I really am still struggling in finding a good trasnfer or exchange prgram 4 my last year. very hard. Japan might be out of the list, so next might be the UK.

decisions decisions, I still have time 2 think but knowing me I won't remember it till the end of my 2nd year. Period.

it is really hard 2 get a comp in the uni's library. So dun expect me 2 blog much as my comp is also busted like heck. damn pissy bout that.

anyway, till next time.

Posted at 03:06 pm by selphia
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Jul 11, 2009

uni.

I entered the uni for some course advice session yesterday and it was tiring.

honestly the atmosphere was pretty much uncomfortable. I felt like I don't have much oxygen to breathe in and I was in desperation to leave... No one I could talk to nor was the teacher ever convincing on stating the course is wonderful.

Yeah you're only stuck with some1 who just speaks with no confidence in the front.

Most of them are taking up bachelor of arts. But I can tell you I won't be seeing more than half the class that attended the session. They either wanna major in psychology or international studies. I don't hear anyone near interested in writing. there might be a chance that i'm the only one taking writing as a major.

Good thing is that I can take up music and film studies in my 1st two semesters. I decided not 2 take up malaysian cinemas as a sub since I chose a more general 1 for the films and the tv. I look forward to music and culture of asia. xD

Though after I took in a little breather while getting out of the campus, walking towards the station to wait for a bus, I met someone interesting. She was one of the students that attended the session. We just said a hi and I do not know how, but we ended up talking bout bunch of things. It jumped to a hi to the bus to the driving license to the course to the session to the bus ride and we were particularly occupied with the amount of questions bombarded at each other. Plus, the most interesting cons we had was about the exchange program. We both took a bus together to pyramid and spent some time talking though it didn't last since I met up wif some ex students of taylors. I felt pretty bad for leaving her out since the 2nd time I came across an old classmate she decided to leave for another bus. =/ I sure hope things would be better the next week. Sorry Emily.

I sure hope to find more students next week though. I feel left out for being the only one taking up writing. And honestly, I don't see any muslim guys around in that session. Not that i mind not having any but it feels weird ya know. My ex college actually had at least bout 4 malay muslim guys. So the atmosphere was pretty much weird for me. Oh, well. Hope for the best for me. :)

toodles.

Posted at 11:45 am by selphia
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Jul 8, 2009

HOMG. HOMG.

I'm starting uni in a week... and yet I'm still afraid of my mistakes of choosing subjects... but honestly after I had that talk wif both of my sisters (winnie and kaksu) in TGIF like weeks ago I felt this sudden goal appearing deep inside me.

I've always loved stories. A very good plot indeed. Writing has been my thing ever since forever. I've always turned to writing whenever I needed to express my depression, anger or happiness using a diary for as long as I could remember. And I keep remembering those days when I could draw, that I was always writing out drafts on how I want my story to be. Drawings was second because it cannot be expressed well without a good plot. I've also been contacted by some old friends who reminded me how I was so into making a good story back in grade school. In fact, they actually remembered some plots I wrote that made me so happy remembering the good old days. Writing is my life and heck I'm even writing in a blog now.

Anyway, straight to the story with my sisters, they were talking bout random books they read made into a movie. Which also includes what sort of actors or actresses fit the characters in the story. Then it jumped to mangas. My favourite series Charming Junkie/Nosatsu Junkie. The first question my 2nd sister asked me was who would be a great actor/actress to fit the characters of my fav series... I thought bout it for awhile but I couldn't think of anyone... until yesterday, Winnie and I discussed bout the series made into a movie/live action series again. And she searched for some random japanese celebrity which was very difficult. But, we found a very suitable Umi. In fact his voice suits it as well.

When we think of Umi. He must look hot as a guy and cute as a girl.

Well here he is.

HOMG

hot boy version

The cute flowery girl smile.

Yup this actor/entertainer is one guy. And his name's Tegoshi Yuya from NEWS.

Honestly, I would love to work in the film industry with him as umi. My UMI! And of course if he's in it I have to work with the japanese 1 day.

HOMG..... I swear I could just faint right now looking @ his pictures.

It's really hard 2 find a naka though. :(

Time to work hard to get into the film industry! WHEE!

Posted at 11:09 pm by selphia
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Jul 4, 2009

word.

Guessy what? After all the hard time 2 actually enroll myself 2 a certain uni... I'm actually now an official student of it waiting 4 my counseling course session and my orientation.

N 2 those who don't really know the passing mark... apparently it's a 90%. Oh yeah I have a load of things 2 do then and one of them is to read and study everyday... with no fail! I'm not gonna waste 80 over thousand because of a freakin fail ok. I'd rather die studying than retaking n which means repaying 4 a certain subject. If I work fine, I'd fail as many times as I want but no Im not working n it's my dad's money. SO NO CHANCE OF FAILING N GETTING BELOW 90. EVER.

My list of things to do once I start.

- make notes of the subject taught everyday w/t fail
- get at least a 90% for each n every subject (it's not impossible if I put my mind into it)
- enter the anime/manga club (I dun care, I study but I need some sort of fun 2)
- try 2 at least enter a sports club...Badminton is a definite
- write an interesting story/ stories I've had an idea of but haven't written yet if I ever decided to enter writing course.
- talk alot. I dun care bout what crappy things I have to say...just talk.
- be open 2 different ideas/ thoughts
- get out of the house once in awhile.
- plan public transport to uni
- plan my driving practical classes (if possible during the holidays 4 the JPJ test)
- get a proper schedule book
- try to get a mx of sc n arts subjects.

Okay then. I'm out.

Posted at 08:39 pm by selphia
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